EDMOND —
There is a term that I have lately come to appreciate. If you have kids, you can certainly understand the term, “selective listening.”
When you have to raise your voice to try and get your child to do their homework rather than play video games or watch television, you know they can’t hear you. But when you whisper to your spouse that you might want to take a family trip to Braums or Disney World and they come running from their bedroom upstairs, where the door had been closed, to beg to go with you, you’ve experienced this phenomenon.
It also happens in marriages. When he, reading the paper in front of the television, or glued to the computer screen, says, “Yes, dear,” to every statement she makes, he is practicing selective listening. When she says, “How about a new platinum band for my wedding ring?” and he responds with another “Yes, dear,” he has been busted.
Unfortunately, we all participate in this practice. Research has shown that there is so much noise in our world that we would literally go crazy if we didn’t have this gift of selective listening. When I first moved to Edmond, I used to wake up at night when I heard the blast of the train whistles that come through our town. However, after a few weeks, I didn’t hear it anymore. When friends came to visit and commented on the noise from the tracks, I realized I hadn’t heard it in years. Selective listening.
I have some friends who have been married for over 60 years. Sixty years! What a wonderful relationship they have. When I asked what their secret was, he said, with a smile on his face, “Selective listening!” He continued, saying that early on in their relationship he vowed only to hear the good things that she had to say and promised to let all of the other things go. And she would do the same for him. Rather than argue about petty things and words that would hurt the other said in haste, they focused on the love that brought them together in the first place. It is the formula that has kept them in love for 60 years.
At this time of year when we are called to be thankful for so many things in our lives, I invite you to be thankful for selective listening. Practice it wisely. Refuse to hear negativity, put-downs and condescending words. Hear only the love, joy and peace that come with a life of thanksgiving. It’s just like that train whistle — soon you won’t even notice the bad stuff.
CHRIS SHOROW is senior pastor of the First Christian Church of Edmond. He may be reached at cshorow@fccedmond.org.
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Selective listening should be used wisely
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