EDMOND —
Neither of my parents used profanity, but once when the carpenter misplaced a closet in the house he was building for them, Mom did say, “That makes me think damn!”
Schmidt-the-carpenter — who was also a deacon in the Baptist church my family attended — first registered shock and then gasped, “Now you done cussed.”
Mom sought me out later to assure me she had not cussed, that what I’d overheard was righteous indignation. Really, I thought, but I gave her a pass. The same pass I gave myself several times in the last week or so.
Last Friday when I phoned a local restaurant to reserve 5:30 accommodations for four, the reservationist asked, “Would you need about two hours?” Need? Need? I asked if he was telling me he wanted us out of there by then, and he said they did have a crowd coming in at 7:30. That was the first pass I had to give myself. “Sorry, we’re booked up this evening,” would have been kinder.
Saturday morning I ordered cat food off the web and was promised that a receipt and tracking info would immediately arrive by email. When it didn’t, I worked up the need for another pass. Monday afternoon I emailed the company my displeasure in a none-too-kindly tone. The representative’s response was immediate. I’d not only given them a garbled email address, I’d failed to take the 10 percent discount they were offering. I about hurt myself in my haste to erase the pass I’d had no right to give myself in the first place.
Tuesday, after I’d recovered from the shock of the estimate given me by a new lawn service, I signed a contract for various tasks and the crew showed up Thursday as agreed. They stacked the 15 bags of mulch I needed off to the side, and I suggested they pull the few green sprouts in the flowerbed before spreading it.
"Spread it?” said one of them.
"Of course,” I said flexing my pitiful biceps. “Surely you didn’t expect me to do it.”
"That’ll be $35 extra,” he said, and I gave myself another pass and paid it. It wasn’t until the next day I discovered that one of them had forced the lock on my backyard gate and bent the iron rod that locks it, thereby necessitating yet another pass.
Then yesterday — the pièce de résistance — my optometrist dilated my eyes and sent me out into sunshiny 3:30 rush traffic to feel my way north on Bryant. There was nothing righteous about my indignation at that point, and no end to the number of passes I might have given myself. Sometimes, though, it feels better to indulge an unrepentant damn.
MARJORIE ANDERSON is an Edmond resident.
Features
Indulging in unrepentance
- Features
-
-
Rude teens an example of emotional narcissism
Q: I went into my 17-year-old’s bedroom to wake him this morning. After some urging, he eventually got up and then told me he hated me. What is the appropriate consequence for this sort of disrespect?
-
The would’a, could’a, should’as of Edmond living
“Would’a, could’a, should’a” might be the most useless contractions in the English language — especially when preceded by “if only” — but I’m not letting that stop me.
If only I’d known what was coming, I would’a stayed out of Edmond’s seductive garden shops last weekend, but it’s been a long, cold winter and I couldn’t resist all those colorful flowery offerings begging, “Take me! “Take me!” -
VIDEO: Man hands out Abercrombie clothes on Skid Row in bid to shame brand
Anger has mounted online against clothing retailer Abercrombie & Fitch due to comments made by its chief executive and its strategy of not making women's clothing in any size above large.
-
Feces contaminates 58 percent of public swimming pools
Human feces taints more than half of public swimming pools, a finding U.S. health officials are using to urge better personal hygiene as the summer months approach.
-
VIDEO: One by one, homes in Calif. subdivision sinking
Scott and Robin Spivey had a sinking feeling that something was wrong with their home when cracks began snaking across their walls in March. Within two weeks their property dropped 10 feet below the street.
-
5 takeaways from the IRS report
What are the key takeaways from the Treasury Inspector General for Tax Administration's report on the Internal Revenue Service's decision to subject conservative groups to heightened scrutiny?
-
How to get the most out of your air conditioner this summer
Experts say preventative maintenance on your air conditioner can save you hundreds of dollars.
-
VIDEO: How robots will shape the future
Robots could revolutionize everything from learning to fitness. Tech reporter Rich DeMuro shows how companies are using robots to shape the future.
-
Bodily waste can help solve the energy crisis, author says
Bodily waste is widely considered a topic not to be discussed in polite company; it's something to be flushed and forgotten. But a new book argues that waste, in all its human and animal forms, is worth getting to know intimately.
-
VIDEO: Camera mounted on WTC spire captures installation
A GoPro camera shows the spire as it is permanently installed atop One World Trade Center on Friday, bringing the New York City structure to its symbolic height of 1,776 feet.
- More Features Headlines
-
Rude teens an example of emotional narcissism
