The Edmond Sun

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April 2, 2009

4-3 God Squad

Q: I’m 24, Jewish, and in a relationship with a man who’s Catholic and of a different color. My parents don’t accept this relationship and insist I’m only trying to “hurt them” and haven’t tried to meet a Jewish man.

This is untrue. I love my parents and always have, even though our relationship has been rocky and stressful at times. I feel I’ve always done what they asked of me in the past, but this is a decision I need to make for myself. I understand their concerns and disappointment, but now they’re threatening to cut me out of their life, disown me and pretend like they never had a daughter.

My mother says I’m turning my back on our religion and race, but I’m not planning to stray from Judaism. I intend for my children to have the same connection to Judaism I felt growing up, and my boyfriend accepts this. To him, it’s most important to be a good person and to believe in God.

As for the color of my boyfriend’s skin, that should be a non-issue. He comes from a wonderful family, is very intelligent and cares about me more than I could have imagined possible. I’m ashamed, embarrassed and saddened by what’s going on. This whole episode is taking a toll on me physically and mentally.

I don’t understand how my parents could be so rigid and uncompromising. How do you stop loving your child because they disagree with you? Shouldn’t love be unconditional?

I’m my own person and I don’t need to agree with my parents on everything. I want them in my life, but I’m very happy with my boyfriend. I know I’ll have a great life with him and he’ll always love and cherish me. I need help. I’m in so much pain that it’s hard to eat, sleep or smile. I pray for the strength to get through each day. — Anonymous, via godsquadquestion@aol.com

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