EDMOND — Dear Mr. Dad: Our 15-year-old son wants to quit school and get a job. He has struggled academically but we always assumed he’d graduate and go on to college. We’re trying hard to dissuade him from quitting, but he says he can always get a GED later. What can we do?
A: Having been in exactly the same spot as your son — and having a teenager of my own who’s talked about leaving school — I don’t think that most high-schoolers are mature enough to make decisions on their own about things that could affect them for the rest of their lives.
But, before you get into that, you need a good handle on why your son is struggling in school. Is he lazy, bored out of his mind, or could he have dyslexia, ADD, or another undiagnosed learning disability? If you haven’t already done so, it’s critical that you speak to your son’s teachers and counselors and ask that he be tested. If he does have a learning disability, you’ll be able to get him the professional help he needs.
If, however, everything comes back normal, ask your son to tell you — in great detail — what’s going on at school.
Are there specific classes he doesn’t like or material he can’t understand? If so, the solution could be as simple as finding a good tutor (again, something to discuss with his teachers). Or, is he having social problems, such as being bullied or shunned? Thousands of kids stay home from school every day — or want to quit altogether — because they’re afraid of their classmates or others.
Whatever his reasons, quitting school may seem like an easy way out to him. No more homework, tests, bullies, or annoying teachers! But chances are, he’s not thinking about the consequences of being a high school dropout. And that’s definitely not a pretty picture.
To start with, high school dropouts earn far, far less than grads — and that’s assuming he can get a job at all in this economy. So it’s important that you find some ways to open your son’s eyes to the harsh reality of eking out a living on minimum wage. Plenty of people — many of whom have years of work experience — are trying to do it, and making ends meet is a lot harder than it sounds.
There’s a good chance that your son has no idea how much money he’ll need to support himself. Make out a budget and show him — in realistic terms — what he’ll have to earn every week just to cover his basic expenses such as taxes, rent, food, utilities, car insurance, and gas. Then add on perks like movies and whatever else he likes to do in his spare time. Once you tally it up, open your local newspaper or go online and look at the jobs that are available to dropouts and how much they pay. That could be all your son needs to persuade him that he’d be better off staying in school. Be prepared, though:He probably won’t believe the gloom and doom scenarios if they come from you, so consider asking the school guidance counselor to jump into the discussion.
Your overall goal here is to do what you can to keep your son in school so he can graduate with his class. Don’t even talk about college — he may find it too overwhelming right now. I’m usually a believer in doing as much advance planning as possible, but this is one of those situations where taking things one step at a time will yield better results.
CONTACT Armin Brott, armin@askmrdad.com, or visit his Web site, www.mrdad.com.
Features
Dropping out of school is not an option
- Features
-
-
Operating on feelings can be catastrophic
How they raise their kids is a touchy subject for lots of parents.
-
Take care with puppy vaccinations
Q: My son recently bought a 3-month-old mixed Rottweiler-German Shepherd pup from a dog breeder near Tecumseh. He was assured by the breeder that the pup had received a 5 in 1 vaccination two weeks earlier, but the pup got sick about a week after he took it home.
-
Edmond Beautiful plans Spring Garden Tour
Edmond Beautiful Inc. will have a Spring Garden Tour of the 2011 “Yard of the Week” winners May 26-27. The “Yard of the Week” program recognizes yards and gardens during the summer months for outstanding flowers and landscaping.
-
Sometimes it’s easy to let go of the familiar
Remember the clack-clack of the lawn mower you used to push over your yard every week or so before someone finally figured out how to attach a gas engine to the contraption?
-
‘Attachment parenting’ fad benefits only guru
The cover story in last week’s (May 21, 2012) Time Magazine is all about “why attachment parenting drives some mothers to extremes — and how Dr. Bill Sears became their guru.” That is the article’s subtitle. All I can say, somewhat hopefully, is “at last.”
-
Protect pets from poisons in the yard, garden
After an unseasonably warm winter, many gardens and yards around the country are growing and blossoming well ahead of schedule
-
Norman church keeps up hourly adoration
For nearly 10 years, someone has been present every hour of the day, every day of the year inside the chapel less than a block north of St. Joseph’s Catholic Church.
-
Protecting pets from poisons in the yard, garden
After an unseasonably warm winter, many gardens and yards around the country are growing and blossoming well ahead of schedule. Outdoor enthusiasts who are also pet owners are delighted with the early onset of spring, enjoying their outdoor living spaces while watching their pets run and play.
-
Norman church keeps up hourly adoration
For nearly 10 years, someone has been present every hour of the day, every day of the year inside the chapel less than a block north of St. Joseph’s Catholic Church.
Deacon Jeff Willard said when the “Perpetual Adoration” program was started at St. Joseph’s, he thought it might last six months at best. -
Fatherhood illuminates relationship to God
Like most men, when I got married I didn’t know what I was signing up for. I didn’t expect it to change me much. In fact, it wasn’t until we had children that I realized how different I had become. I didn’t sign up to have squalling infants keep me up for hours night after night. I sure didn’t sign up for diaper duty. And the one thing I definitely wasn’t expecting was that these little sewage-secreting noise machines would have cables jacked straight into my heart. What they wanted, I wanted them to have. It wasn’t even a choice.
- More Features Headlines
-
Operating on feelings can be catastrophic
