EDMOND —
I’m writing this column on Powerball Wednesday. By the time you read it, someone will have won millions of lottery dollars and begun to gain a clearer understanding of the downside of opulence. Take your Thanksgiving table, for instance. Full to overflowing, wasn’t it? And so were you. Not just satiated but suffering stuffed-to-the-gills misery. Then why is it that you’re eagerly anticipating a replay come Christmas? How soon we forget.
“Here, kid. Take this quarter and knock yourself out.” That’s my cousin, who will be on his way to basic training the next day. It’s about this time of the year in 1942 but still warm, and we’re at a family-and-well-wishers’ backyard barbecue in his honor. His name is Warden, but we always called him Lucky. At that time because of the Lucky Strikes he carried rolled up in the sleeve of his white T-shirt. Later because he served his World War II term of duty overseas as a Russian/German language translator, came home safe and sound at the end of the war and lived to a ripe, albeit nicotine-stained old age in spite of his lifelong habit.
Anyhow, I snatched up that quarter, lost my 10-year-old self in the milieu of backyard barbecue revelers, and dashed off to the neighborhood grocery store. Mr. Swartz behind the counter was glad to see me. Times weren’t all that lush and I had a quarter eating a hole in my pocket. Not a sweaty penny or two tied up in the corner of a hanky.
I invested my entire windfall in penny-packs of Root Bear Barrels, ropes of Licorice both red and black, Tootsie Pops and Tootsie Rolls, miniature Slo Pokes, Bit O Honey midgets, Chick-O-Sticks and Red Hots, and that’s when trouble showed up. Two cousins, one older than I and the other younger. Both of them fat for good reason. Do you have any idea what the size of a sack holding 25 packets of penny candy looks like? Huge. Impossible to conceal, and the cousins would tell our respective moms if I didn’t share.
So I did, but with grace falling short of anything you could call Christian charity. In the end, we hunkered down in a circle out of the wind behind the grocery store and did our “one for Tina, one for Dorothy, one for Marjorie” routine, divvying up two dozen of the sack’s contents — the twenty-fifth piece, a black licorice rope, going to me — and consumed all of it on the spot.
I and I alone was that day’s Powerball winner. Still, looking back, divvying up the spoils probably saved me from a roaring belly ache and cemented my right to cousinship. New Powerball winner, take note.
MARJORIE ANDERSON is an Edmond resident.
Features
AS I SEE IT: Powerball winner could learn from candy bonanza
- Features
-
-
Rude teens an example of emotional narcissism
Q: I went into my 17-year-old’s bedroom to wake him this morning. After some urging, he eventually got up and then told me he hated me. What is the appropriate consequence for this sort of disrespect?
-
The would’a, could’a, should’as of Edmond living
“Would’a, could’a, should’a” might be the most useless contractions in the English language — especially when preceded by “if only” — but I’m not letting that stop me.
If only I’d known what was coming, I would’a stayed out of Edmond’s seductive garden shops last weekend, but it’s been a long, cold winter and I couldn’t resist all those colorful flowery offerings begging, “Take me! “Take me!” -
VIDEO: Man hands out Abercrombie clothes on Skid Row in bid to shame brand
Anger has mounted online against clothing retailer Abercrombie & Fitch due to comments made by its chief executive and its strategy of not making women's clothing in any size above large.
-
Feces contaminates 58 percent of public swimming pools
Human feces taints more than half of public swimming pools, a finding U.S. health officials are using to urge better personal hygiene as the summer months approach.
-
VIDEO: One by one, homes in Calif. subdivision sinking
Scott and Robin Spivey had a sinking feeling that something was wrong with their home when cracks began snaking across their walls in March. Within two weeks their property dropped 10 feet below the street.
-
5 takeaways from the IRS report
What are the key takeaways from the Treasury Inspector General for Tax Administration's report on the Internal Revenue Service's decision to subject conservative groups to heightened scrutiny?
-
How to get the most out of your air conditioner this summer
Experts say preventative maintenance on your air conditioner can save you hundreds of dollars.
-
VIDEO: How robots will shape the future
Robots could revolutionize everything from learning to fitness. Tech reporter Rich DeMuro shows how companies are using robots to shape the future.
-
Bodily waste can help solve the energy crisis, author says
Bodily waste is widely considered a topic not to be discussed in polite company; it's something to be flushed and forgotten. But a new book argues that waste, in all its human and animal forms, is worth getting to know intimately.
-
VIDEO: Camera mounted on WTC spire captures installation
A GoPro camera shows the spire as it is permanently installed atop One World Trade Center on Friday, bringing the New York City structure to its symbolic height of 1,776 feet.
- More Features Headlines
-
Rude teens an example of emotional narcissism



