Q: How does the law deal with buyer’s remorse? Am I really stuck with this thing I shouldn’t have bought?
A: We have a new puppy at our house. The reason we have a new puppy at our house is that we had forgotten what it’s like to have a new puppy at our house. Now ours is a house full of dog lovers. Our Cavachon, Indiana, is a beloved member of the family and, because we acquired him as an adult, has been virtually no trouble from Day One. And he is great at chores. He reads the newspaper to me every morning.
Enter Jeffrey. Jeffrey came to us as an adorable 9-week-old Labrador-Catahoula mix. I say he was adorable when he came to us because I mean he was cuter when he was living at someone else’s house. Don’t get me wrong. We love Jeffrey. In fact, these days, we can hardly let two minutes go by without shouting his name with vim and fervor. “No, Jeffrey. Jeffrey, sit. Jeffrey, NO. Jeffrey, Jeffrey, Jeffrey.”
I especially love that Jeffrey knows how much I enjoy waking up at 3 a.m., and how he — cute little thing — makes sure I have the opportunity every day. Of course, we know all the work a puppy creates will someday pay off. They say Labs only stay puppies for two years. Two years.
We like to think we walked blindly into the Jeffrey Conundrum. It had been 20 years since we acquired a dog as a puppy. Surely we were blinded by the passage of time and the cuteness of the hound. But, truthfully, somewhere in the depths of our souls, we knew what we were getting into by bringing Jeffrey home. And we did it anyway.
And this is where buyer’s remorse comes in. At this moment, as I write this article, I do not regret adopting Jeffrey. I’m at my office. He’s home in his crate. Life is good. But sometime around 3:05 tomorrow morning, buyer’s remorse will set in. That’s the deal. You get the good with the bad.
So get this. It may be the best legal advice you will ever receive. With few exceptions, the law laughs in the face of buyer’s remorse. Generally speaking, if you buy it, you will own it until you find the next sucker to take it off your hands.
MATT HOPKINS is an attorney for Lester, Loving & Davies P.C. More information is available at lldlaw.com. Send questions to firstname.lastname@example.org.