Published: May 02, 2007 09:35 pm      

Politically correct state quarter chosen

Well, an Oklahoma state quarter design has been picked, it’s a scissortail flycatcher and Gaillardia wildflowers, and we’re supposed to be happy with it, right?

Is it a surprise that the “official design” was approved days after Gov. Brad Henry vetoed a comprehensive, common sense lawsuit reform bill? Probably not.

All the designs were fraught with legal concerns, so it really shouldn’t be any surprise the only design that would prevent a legal scuff-up was the decided one, and the governor gave Oklahomans the bird ... design that is.

The Pioneer woman was off the table, since the “politically correct” crowd removed the Bible from the woman’s grasp, so perhaps many Oklahomans voted against any design that removed the Bible, a protest from the Bible Belt.

The other designs included a peace pipe. Please, the tobacco police would never let that happen, and besides, I’m sure some public interest, anti-smoking group, would demand the quarter design be removed if the pipe was chosen — “Because quarter designs have increased smoking among 12 to 18 year olds,” they would declare.

Other features of designs included a gushing oil well, saluting our energy industry. Ah, but that’s when the environmentalist wackos would demand the oil is “an environmental hazard, and to have this raping of Mother Earth emboldened on a state quarter and maybe it could cause global warming,” and it would be doomed for removal.

The windmill seemed so innocent, but I’m sure the U.S. Mint would declare that design null and void because it would remind everyone of “hot air” and perhaps some national politicians would take offense.

So, to avoid lawsuits and boycotts, the official state bird was chosen to grace our quarter. Some may think this decision will help avoid the pitfalls of some legal action.

But dear readers, I’m sure the International Association for the Prevention of Cruelty to Flies already has huddled with their attorneys considering legal action, and you know it had to happen.

After all, scissortail fly catchers, it’s not a catch-and-release — those birds are killing, and eating flies, you know.

(Larry Stein is a former radio talk show host and an Edmond resident.)