EDMOND —
Two hundred years ago, the Scottish poet Robert Burns wrote that our best-laid plans oft go astray, and even today they still do. With the best of intentions, who hasn’t unwittingly turned a compliment into a cut, a friendly gesture into an insult, an otherwise gala occasion into a near-disaster?
In the literary world, no one’s plans go astray more spectacularly than Spanish novelist Miguel de Cervante’s most famous fictional character, Don Quixote. But he does mean well in his ramblings about the countryside jousting with windmills, rescuing fair damsels who are not in distress, righting ill-perceived wrongs in general and leaving us a derivative of his name to describe well-meant but self-defeating acts.
A quixotic deed can go down in the blink of an eye and the consequences are varied. In the best scenario, you and the victim of your quixotic deed can share a good laugh. In the worst scenario, you hope never to face your unintended victim again.
Suppose your hostess introduces you to what you take to be a young pregnant co-guest, then leaves the two of you alone to make small talk while she flits off to welcome new arrivals. That’s what happened to me in real time. The minutes ticked by and the young mother-to-be and I had exchanged tidbits on every topic including household hints and recipes. Our conversation had grown as cold as our coffee and the silence in our corner of the room had thickened. Even so, seeing that our hostess was still occupied, I felt obliged to carry on. Placing my cup on the tray, I cleared my throat and jumped back in.
“So,” I began in my best twinkling voice, “do you have other children?” She shook her head, and with the best of intentions I gestured toward her tummy, smiled my congratulations and asked which trimester she was in. A huge mistake! She was quick to tell me, and none too kindly, that she wasn’t in any trimester whatsoever. I knew in that instant there wasn’t the remotest chance she would ever become my friend. Nor would my hostess, who it turned out was the mother of my young obese but un-pregnant co-guest.
Perhaps you’ve caught yourself in such a situation, handled it gracefully and learned from your mistake ... as I did, but not right away. I did learn to limit phone calls to my post-surgery friends convalescing at home, but not until after one of them fell out of bed reaching for the phone. How was I to know she’d be allergic to the flowers I sent in apology?
Allergies are tricky. Some time later I slipped a delectable chunk of crabmeat off my plate and onto that same friend’s plate as a treat and I all but killed her again. I knew she had allergies, but she hadn’t mentioned shellfish.
We never exchanged Christmas cards after that, and today I got word she had died of natural causes these many years later. To be on the safe side, I won’t be sending flowers.
MARJORIE ANDERSON is an Edmond resident.
Opinion
Unintended consequences befuddle even the most socially adept among us
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Witnesses missing; Behenna case could be heard at Supreme Court
The film “Breaker Morant” was nominated for an Oscar for the best screenplay in 1980. It told the story of Harry “Breaker” Morant, an Australian who served in the British Army and was court-martialed for alleged war crimes during the Boer War in Southern Africa in the early years of the last century.
That conflict pitted the British Army against the descendants of the Dutch settlers who had migrated to what is now South Africa in the 17th and 18th centuries. The majority of them were farmers and in their language of Afrikaans were known as “Boers.” -
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May is graduation season. As I have done every year as lieutenant governor, I have given multiple commencement speeches. Advice flows freely during this time and it usually runs the gamut. What to do, what not to do, how to do ‘x’, be sure not to do ‘y.’ Too often commencement speakers speak in big generalities. So general, the message is frequently lost or forgotten.
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Last-minute funding proposals not in state’s best interest
All indications point to this being the last week of this year’s legislative session. The Legislature will go home a week early. This is good news for Oklahomans as not only will there be cost savings but all Oklahomans should breathe a sigh of relief when the Legislature stops making new laws a week ahead of schedule.
As usual, the Legislature will take a number of important votes during the last week. Some will be forced due to attempts to introduce and pass far-reaching, new policies that should have been introduced much earlier in the year. -
BY THE NUMBERS: Oklahoma still needs to invest in its economy
After six months of stagnation, the Oklahoma economy finally appears to be expanding again albeit still weakly. Unfortunately, our leaders aren’t making the investments we need to give our economic prospects a boost.
Last week the Oklahoma Office of Management and Enterprise Services reported that in April state General Revenue fund collections were 5.2 percent above the estimate and 14.7 percent higher than last year’s collections. Under normal circumstances, such a report would indicate that the Oklahoma economy was very strong. But this isn’t a normal circumstance, and April isn’t a normal month. -
Americans deserve the truth on Benghazi
Lately, the media has been consumed by the controversies surrounding the White House. Among these controversies is the horrific terrorist attack on the United States’ diplomatic compound in Benghazi that took place Sept. 11, 2012. As more people come forward with additional information regarding the attack on the consulate, many Americans, including myself, are still asking for the truth.
The Obama Administration and the State Department have been less than forthcoming with key information on Benghazi and recent information points toward a major cover-up. -
Seizure of AP phone records insult to independent press
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Recent headlines cause me to remember an incident that occurred on an army base some years ago. Warning here: I’m taking some liberties with names and details, but the basic outline of events is accurate.
A certain company commander, let’s call him Captain Duntz, had command of a motor pool on a large army base in the continental U.S. -
We’ve become our own worst enemies
The past couple months have been marked by a seeming unprecedented number of man-made tragedies, as distinct from those caused by violent outbursts of the natural world, such as earthquakes, hurricanes and tsunamis.
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Let’s reimburse higher ed for remediation costs
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Witnesses missing; Behenna case could be heard at Supreme Court
