Published: August 25, 2009 11:02 pm      

SPRUILL: Now that's depressing

And people wonder why no one watches the news anymore. Check out these depressing headlines that I browsed today on Yahoo! News.

REUTERS: Tobacco seen killing up to 6 million people next year. ABC NEWS: Up to 90,000 Americans could die from swine flu this fall and winter. And yes, these two headlines were running at the same time. I didn’t have to scour multiple news tickers to find these little tidbits of joy.

Fantastic. I spend 90 percent of my time indoors during the winter thanks to basketball, so I suppose that gives me a fairly good chance of coming down with swine flu considering half the U.S. population is expected to contract the virus. And when did we start calling it swine flu again.

I’m not trying to bring down the news side of things, but could we look for something just a bit less depressing. That’s why I choose to cover sports.

You don’t see such grave headlines in sports. Now, I will say, there are some bad headlines. Where I grew up there were two high schools in the local reading area that had Indian mascots. The local guys couldn’t get enough of using the word scalped.

It’s time we bring some sports into our lives. “Yeah the swine flu is scary, but did you hear that Lou Holtz picked Notre Dame to play in the title game against Florida?”

These are the things that concern me. Sorry, the Irish are not getting past Southern Cal. That’s about as interesting of a comment as the gender debate of the South African runner Caster Semenya. Since she’s shaved the ‘stache and left the running jacket on, she is looking more and more like a, well, she.

Johan Santana is done for the season and the Mets traded Billy Wagner to the Red Sox. These stories interest me, they don’t affect me by any means, but the Sox are turning into the Yankees.

I cheered for the Red Sox in 2004 when they took down the Yankees, but enough is enough. I’m a National League guy, but I will be pulling for the Yankees to make it to the World Series, that is, if the Rangers can’t be there.

BREAKING NEWS ... Cluster of car bombings in Afghanistan kills at least 41. That’s sad, it really is.

But did you see that Usain Bolt would cover the 40-yard dash in 3.92 seconds. It would be 3.73 if it were hand timed. And if he has a running start he could cover the final 40 yards just a shade under three seconds.

He’s 6-5, and if he could catch a football, there’s not a person on earth that wouldn’t want him on their team, or at least see it.

It will probably never happen, but I choose to live in a fantasy world, and in that world anything can happen. I hope for the best, and don’t let things like the H1N1 virus concern me.

BREAKING NEWS ... Oak Tree National and USGA to make announcement on Thursday. I’m hoping another major is in store for this great state, and believe one is. See, things are looking better already.